With your coworker constantly reminding you of their achievements and your friend interrupting your stories to share their own (or take a selfie), we throw around the word “narcissist” so much it’s become harder and harder to tell who actually is one.

Even if you’re dating or married to a legitimate narcissist, it’s easy to think your partner is simply another run-of-the-mill jerk, not that you’re dealing with someone with a psychologically diagnosed personality type. LivingHealthy expert Ramani Durvasula, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, tells us the telltale signs you’re involved with a narcissist. If you think you are, find out how to get out of the relationship (yes, there’s a different mindset and strategy to leave a narcissist).